We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
