Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
