Don't you send me to vm
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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