also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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