dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
