If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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