Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
