Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm getting married
To pizza
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
