You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
