went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
