Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
