Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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