is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
