If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
