is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
