Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
