no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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