saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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