if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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