i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
