his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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