There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
