His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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