oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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