Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My life is pants optional.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
