pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
