So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
