THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
