i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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