see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
