A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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