Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
