1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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