omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
