What did we do last night that was yellow?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
