why didn't you poke me back
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
