we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
