i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've blown a few things in my day
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Life without a bra equals bliss.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need to calm my uterus...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
