left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
