I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
