We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
