after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
