his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
