Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
