need another drink. this is the easiest way
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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