This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
