And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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