i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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