I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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