just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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