Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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