You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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