i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
