Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
